All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
