you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
