ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
