I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Watching her eat just hurts me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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