are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
