youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
