your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
