Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
