we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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