Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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