just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
