It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
