We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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