what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
