some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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