We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
