just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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