you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
