Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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