Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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