Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
