I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
