he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
