He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
