Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
