it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I smell stomach acid.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
