How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
