ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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