I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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