I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
