My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
