We got so high we made milksteak
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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