nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
