I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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