Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
