They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So vagazzling was a success
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
