Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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