pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
