I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
accomplished twins. life is a go
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
