how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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