Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
