the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
