I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
