im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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