Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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