White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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