Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
