The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
