Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have aggressive nipples.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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