just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
